So, I have been professionally diagnosed with OCD. Most people know what this is. For those who don't, it's obssesive-compulsive disorder. Most people know the side where people have to wash their hands until they are raw or do things a certain number of times. Those are compulsions. I have mostly obsessions. My few compulsions are minor: I can't eat food that touches. I also eat it one thing at a time, starting with my least favorite food. (And if it is like a casserole or something, I eat it one thing at a time. Take, for example, Hamburger Helper. I eat all the pasta first, then eat the meat.)
It also shows up in my typing, if you could actually watch me type. I have an online dictionary and thesaurus open on a different tab before I start typing anything. Then I re-read EVERYTHING! I do it multiple times, too. I'm looking for misspelled word, grammatical errors, phrases I can improve, and other crazy stuff. I even re-read it after I post it. And, if I find an error then, I have to edit it to correct it. I also have a problem with too many details. (If you've gotten to this point of this post, I can hear your "DUH!") I want to make sure what I mean is perfectly clear. You've heard of "not seeing the forest for the trees"? I can see the splinters that make up those trees!
Anyway, most of my OCD is obsessive based. I have what has been called circular thoughts. I start at A, which leads to B, which leads to C, which leads to D, which comes right back to A. Each cirlce isn't always the same, but it's always the same idea. I'll spare you the example. I am also a perfectionist to a severe degree. I plan stuff out. And I plan it to the tinest detail. Or either, it is beyond my control, so I don't plan anything. My therapist says I see in "black and white." I have trouble doing things half-way. Okay, that's an understatement. I can't do things halfway.
My brain gets stuck on topics sometimes. It's like a broken record, constantly skipping to the same line of the song. When I find something new I like, I LOVE it. I can't get enough! I spend hours researching and learning about it. My current "obsession" is a band called My Chemical Romance. I have always liked some of their songs, but right now, I'm addicted. I even know they are in Europe on tour right now until early November, when they come home for the release of their new album. I'm assuming they will break for the holidays, too, since Gee and Frank have new babies. Actually, Frank has two, twin girls. SEE?
My brain's not always bad, though. I have a natural gift of understanding numbers. I just get them, like a second language. I learn things fairly easy, as well, if I'm interested in the subject matter. I know all kinds of useless information--just ask my husband! I can read instructions and do whatever I just read. I am called articulate and detail-oriented because of this disorder. I consider both of those to be compliments.
I'm not really sure how this came to be my post tonight. (Well, yeah I do--ODC!) It's just weird sometimes when people don't get it. They can't see my OCD. My husband is great with me and my OCD; he seems to understand. He has watched me fall apart. Even better, he has put me back together with little judgement! Sometimes I just want to put a shirt on that reads "I have OCD. Please ignore my quirks." I hope no one takes this post the wrong way. I just needed to say this to others in a nonthreatening way.
I suppose the moral of tonight's post is the old adage "never judge a book by its cover." Or in my case, a person by their outward appearances. People always say you never know what tragedy someone is dealing with. Sometimes, you never know what everyday situation that person is living with!
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